We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
