you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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