i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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