OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
this beer tastes like vomit already
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
