I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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