Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
