You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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