I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
