you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
