would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
