Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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