When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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