Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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