It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize