Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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