naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
