Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
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The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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