Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
