just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
