wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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