I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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