Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
