WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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