We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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