she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
