So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize