i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
