He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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