I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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