I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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