I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
