Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
