dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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