We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
