First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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