oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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