whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
