No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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