I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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