so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
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can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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