P.S. I can't hear my feet
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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