I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
