I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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