Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
