Old men and throwing up are my life now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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