somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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