i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
