Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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