could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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