how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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