i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
