so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
