Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
