if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
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