Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I would ride that face into the sunset
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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