I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just found puke in my bra..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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