4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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