well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
