This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
