is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
