Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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