You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
