The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize