No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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