Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
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i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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