marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
How's work?
Spinning.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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