I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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